Have you ever taken a minute to think about the complexities of the human body? Everything from your height and weight, to the skin that houses it, all the way down to each individual hair on your head—it was all hand-picked and skillfully created by the God of the universe.
Imagine that for a second, and I promise the thoughts will get real deep real quick. The same God who created the Heavens and the Earth and every single thing that exists in between, also created every detail of your body. The Bible tells us that He created man in His own image and from man (literally from the bones in Adam’s body) God created man’s companion—a woman. (Genesis 2:22)
I tend to think about these intricacies in particular when I think about how God created sex.
We live in an age where “Netflix and chill” trumps purity and sanctification, and there is “no shame” in casual hookups because it’s what “everyone does.” Sex before marriage is not only “normal,” but embraced and justified by society.
We’ve fallen away from the truth—that the whole purpose for sex and intimacy is to worship and honor God with our bodies (1 Corinthians 6:20).
It’s hard to believe sometimes, but our over-sexualized society isn’t much different than that of every people group in the Bible for thousands and thousands of years.
Scripture is riddled with scandal and sin. Lucky for us, we can learn from that sin and repent in our pursuit of the most High.
“Let’s talk about sex bay-bee…” (Cue Salt-N-Peppa)
Sex Before Marriage: Why Netflix and Chill Would TOTALLY be In the Bible
It’s the question that every single person who has ever pursued sexual purity has ever asked. If you haven’t asked it with your mouth, I’m 99 percent confident you’ve at least thought it.
“How far is too far?”
Obviously the Bible talks A LOT about sexual immorality, a lot about adultery, and a fair amount about other sexual weirdness. But would it hurt the big guy upstairs to give us some guidelines on just what exactly that looks like?
Y’all, purity is HARD. But Jesus knows that. He knows the temptation is there, and it burns inside us like a flame that can only be put out by the one thing we can’t have outside of marriage.
Ethan Renoe speaks to this question as he’s gotten it a lot over the years. Giving examples of some of the extreme responses he’s heard to this question, Renoe offers up some sound advice on just how far is too far when it comes to sex before marriage.
Just like you would never buy a brand new car without buying it, so many in culture today believe that you would never commit to another person without first making sure you can last together forever.
With sexual intimacy playing a large role in the health and happiness of one’s relationship, the thought comes to mind—let me try before I buy.
But holy cow you guys this is SO wrong it hurts!! We know that when we align ourselves with God, He gives us the desires of our hearts. What’s even greater about that Truth is that usually, said desires are not our own, but the ones that God has so divinely led us to.
So if that’s the case, and He’ll give you exactly what you need, why wouldn’t that also be true for your love life (and sex life)?
Brie Gowen offers up some brutally honest truth for those who approach love and sex with the mindset of purchasing a chunk of metal with four wheels.
“What happens when you become one flesh with ‘John,’ but then it doesn’t work out? So then you go become one flesh with ‘Phillip.’ Then ‘Steven,’ and so forth. By the end, of all your broken relationships, you’ve spread yourself all over the place. Your spirit has connected with so many people that you’re left splintered and torn. You’ll feel pretty beat up and broken, actually.”
This message derives from a statement made by Francis Chan on a John Piper podcast in 2015. In the interview, Chan suggests to Piper that the reason singles in the church are marrying later, is because so many of them are taking part in sexual immorality.
It’s a point that rubbed long-time Chan fan, Caitlin, the totally wrong way.
“I have been deeply impacted by the writings and teachings of Francis Chan in the past and have profound respect for him. But his reasoning that singles in the church are engaging in sexual immorality and therefore marrying later felt dismissive for a lot of us,” she writes. “I cannot name a single Christian couple that is in the situation he describes and is therefore delaying marriage. His response felt like it skimmed over a topic with so much more “
The rest of the article constructively points out where the Church is falling short of meeting the needs of single people everywhere. It’s not always a matter of sexual immorality. Sometimes it really is just part of the waiting game.
People will believe just about anything. So it’s no wonder that the more sex before marriage prospers as a cultural norm, the more rules and regulations we tend to believe about it.
But it doesn’t take a genius to tell you that not everything you hear is true. Frank Powell’s piece, “7 Myths Christians Believe About Sex,” is the perfect addition to this list for exactly that reason. Whether we justify sex “because everyone else is doing it,” or believe that obedience in purity leads to better sex, even the most pure of believers sometimes need some cold hard truth.
Thankfully, Powell debunks some of the most popular myths and provides sound support for anyone wrestling with those lies about sex and God that Satan fills our heads with.
Well, to be honest…not a whole lot. The bible talks A LOT about sex and what not to do, (commit adultery, lay with your brother’s wife, etc.), but people in the bible apparently liked cheating on their spouse more than having sex before marriage.
At least, that’s what God speaks to the most. Still, there’s enough in the Bible that talks about the sanctity of marriage and the two becoming one that we can look to those Truths and learn the truth about sex before marriage.
John Mark Comber shares a powerful illustration of a chair with only three legs. When we give a piece of our soul to someone by having sex before marriage, it’s like a chair losing one of its legs. We lose a part of ourselves, and it’s a part that is welded together and should never be separated in the first place. (Matthew 19:6)
Sex is truly a beautiful and wonderful gift from God.
Historically, as God’s people, we haven’t done the best job at respecting our bodies and using sex for what it was created for–to honor and serve the Lord.
May these 5 articles help you in your pursuit of purity and clear up any gray areas about sex before marriage.